Well welcome back! I hope you’re all having a nice relaxing weekend. Here’s a little snippet of Metanoia for you to enjoy…
Trees swirl around me in the darkness that is my making. Air lifts my feet from the tattered ground lying in a charred heap from the fire burning in my veins. My hair floats in the wind as it churns from my fingertips—strands flowing through the debris that rises to the occasion of perpetual doom.
I am the one.
I am power.
I am their demise.
The Star Child.
They have never known fear such as I shall show them.
I float over bodies covered in the blood my sword has drawn. Flesh sliced from their bones and flapping loosely through the breeze as I glide past. I was once told this was not a game. No, it’s not. This is hell on earth, and I should’ve stopped it before it happened. But I was afraid…of what, I have no idea. I held the power to prevent this destruction. Weakness of mind and body paralyzed me from pursuing my destiny. Never again!
I have seen things, that no matter how hard I try to scrub from my frazzled mind, the images are still there.
Destruction has become my constant companion. It visits me in my sleep leaving me in a screaming pile of twisted and sweaty limbs, panting as I force my mind from the fog, and back into reality. Yes, I do believe the gods get off on tormenting me. But what they fail to realize is…it’s only making me stronger. The madder I get over being taken prisoner, violated and tortured, the more the fire burns. I feed off of it now. I stroke its ego, pet its steel-tipped feathers, and plunge into its darkest depths as it swallows me whole. It’s almost as if I’ve been born again. From the bowels of hell has come the phoenix within and she emboldens me to take chances I would have otherwise shied away from.
I wipe the sweat from my brow and look down to the remains of the fool at my boots. I showed no compassion for him. I felt no remorse for running my blade through his gut and twisting as I stared into his terrified eyes and watched with malicious intent as they filled with the tears that only death brings. Tears of a doom that no one can save you from. I twist the blade again and revel in the hot blood that pool at his belly and spill over onto my hand.
I did this as my team watched…eyes wide with astonishment or disgust—I didn’t give a fuck. He deserved the end I brought him. If only everyone could fade into a peaceful silence such as the one I gifted him. He didn’t deserve an end to the misery I should’ve given him. He deserved to suffer the fate he had intended for me. Torture. Rape. Shame. That should’ve been his end…not this, but I couldn’t stop myself. Once my eyes locked with his dark ones it was all I could do not to explode with rage and kill everything in my path.
This darkness inside of me is growing, and it’s getting harder and harder to harness. Sickly tentacles branch out through my being and latch on to any humanity left, sucking the goodness from my marrow and laying waste to any morals I had left. I lose a piece of myself with every kill—but vengeance is a high that I can’t get enough of. I crave its passion. I need its fuel to keep the dragon within breathing the fire of retribution.